1 Year BAND-iversary

Today's weight, 255.2 lbs, that's...you guessed it...100 lbs so far!!!

Disclaimer...School is hard.

So I know a lot of you were probably thinking that I gave up on this whole blog thing. I have been getting a lot of crap from people because I haven't put anything out here since...(shame) August. All I can say, is that I have been a busy girl with 2 jobs, school, service hours, working out and occasionally sleeping and seeing some of my friends. I also survived my first relationship in, I don't even know how long. (That's another story, for another time). And let me tell you, break-ups....are also hard. I feel like with everything I have been going through since the semester started, which was about the same time I wrote my last blog, that I have done amazingly well for myself. When I last blogged I was sitting at 87 lbs down. So in the past 4 months I have managed to lose 13 lbs while still maintaining this busy lifestyle. I am pretty proud of that. In the past, when life got hard, I turned to food. When I felt like I was losing control, I turned to food. Not anymore!

Oh, yeah....And today is my 1 year anniversary!!!!

1 year ago today, I was sitting in the waiting room at Altaview Hospital with my dad, being prepped for what was to become the most significant event in my entire life. I remembered just how calm I felt about the whole thing....I was ready, I had been through all the steps, 6 months of doctors visits, strict meal plans, psych eval, insurance questions, more insurance questions, paperwork, more paperwork...I successfully completed my 2 week pre-op diet and had actually lost 13 lbs! I have only been counting my weight loss since my surgery date, but in reality my highest starting weight came 2 weeks before my surgery  when I weighed in at 362 lbs. But on the day of my surgery, I was 355.5 lbs, so that is what I have based my weight loss off of. My dad and I sat in the pre-op room just chatting like it was any other day. I got my IV placed and they gave me a heparin shot.  As we waited  I reflected back on all the years of struggle and was content in the fact that I was going to wake up a new person ready to shed my old skin and begin a new journey that would ultimately save my life. I knew it was going to be hard, I knew it was going to be long, and I knew that it wasn't always going to be a straight shot down the mountain. (Truth be told, it has been a mother fucking ninja roller coaster bitch of a ride) But with all of that, I was perfectly ready for what lay ahead of me....

...Until the pre-op nurse came in and told me that my doctor was delayed and it was going to be a least 2 hours before they would bet me back in there.  That's when the nervousness set in. Nervous and anxious, it was starting to get to me. My dad, I think, was starting to get annoyed. I started a group text with my mom and sister who were not able to be there, but would be coming to see me later. I talked the nurse into getting an order from my doctor to give me something for my anxiety and he came back with some ativan. Um yes sir! Now things were peachy and I was goofily chatting with my mom and sister. My mom was getting annoyed with my sister and I because we were calling each other "fat" names and telling each other "fat jokes". It's always been a thing with us to use insulting humor on each other. My sister is my best friend and the person I am closest with, so it has always just been a joke. Ever since we got our surgeries, we have used "fat" jokes on each other. I think it has been a way of flipping our old lives the bird. I'm pretty sure it started that day, with her trying to get my mind off things, and we do it still to this day. My mom was getting annoyed like she always does, because she just doesn't understand us. I was feeling great in my post-anti-anxiety-med-haze.

Then one-by-one, the operating room staff came in to say their final words to me and it was off to the races.

The surgery went well, but post-op was a bitch. I had a full blown asthma attack and was hypotensive (low blood pressure), they had to give me an albuterol treatment and fluid for my blood pressure. I was in post-op for a while until they could stabilize me. All I could remember is the feeling that I couldn't breathe, was hot and dizzy, and had the most excruciating pain in my shoulders. (It was from all the CO2 they pump into your abdomen during laproscopic surgery to get all the other organs out of the way). In fact, the most intense and only real, problematic pain, during my entire recovery, was that CO2 pain. Other than that, I was actually doing quite well. It took about 2 days for that pain to completely dissipate, but I never had much surgical pain.

My mom showed up at the hospital as well as my sister, and my dad left. It took me a while to recover, because I was dizzy and couldn't keep my oxygen levels up. Once I was finally able to get out of bed and try walking, I puked. So 3 hours in post-op and I was finally able to go home. It had been a long day. My sister and mom stayed the night with me at my house and took good care of me. I remembered thinking how lucky I was to have such amazing family that would drop everything to be there for me. It's hard when you are a single woman, living alone to have to rely on others for help. But my family are some of the most amazing people in the world and I am so grateful to have them.

the next day my mom took me to her house and I spent the next week recovering there with her and my dad. It was nice to be able to take the time off work to get adjusted to my new life. I will never forget the day I walked into my manager, Amy Back's office and told her that I needed to take a leave of absence. I wasn't telling anyone yet what I was doing, (with the exception of a select few) so it was hard to tell her that I needed to take some time off, right during the holidays, and that she couldn't know what it was for. All she knew was that while it was not life threatening, it was essential to my life and health. She was so wonderful to give me the time off I needed and didn't question it.

Over the next 12 months I would have many amazing successes, some set backs and failures, some jump-for-joy moments, some tears, many goals reached, and many wardrobe changes. I have gone from a size 28 to a size 18. I have been thinking about the goal I set for myself originally.... (to recap)

Weight related goals:

Lose 10% (weight 320 lbs) DONE
Lose 50 lbs (weight 305 lbs) DONE
Get under 300 lbs DONE
Lose 66 lbs (The most weight I have ever lost at one time was 65 lbs) (weight 289 lbs) DONE
Get to 265 lbs (That's what I weighed in high school) DONE
Lose half my total expected weight loss (lose 93 lbs - weight 262 lbs) DONE
Lose 25% (weight 266 lbs) DONE
Lose 100 lbs (weight 255 lbs) DONE
Get under 200 lbs
Lose 50% (weight 178 lbs)
Reach my goal weight (weight 169 lbs)

Non weight related goals:

Shop in a normal size clothing store DONE
Ride an airplane without having to use the seat belt extender DONE
Hike Fannonhorn (The hill next to Camp Pinecliff where Camp Fellowship hikes every year) WOULD HAVE DONE, BUT IT GOT RAINED OUT
Run a 5k

Yep, I have done a lot in the last 12 months. I need to start coming up with a new set of goals. It's time to start the next chapter of this journey. I can't thank all of you enough for everything you have done for me in this past year. Everyone has played a small role in helping me to get where I am. I couldn't have the motivation for success without each and every one of your cheer-leading, positive vibes, role modeling, and gentle reminders.

There are a few people I want to thank by name, but this in no way means that I am not grateful to every single one of you.

Thanks first and foremost to my skinny sissy pants, Em. You have been instrumental in this for me. Thanks for sharing in this amazing journey right along side of me. You get me like no one else does. It's amazing to have someone going through the exact same thing at the same time. I love you, you are beautiful!

Thanks mom and dad, for teaching me to be a strong independent woman and what the value of hard work is. I needed that for success. Thanks for always encouraging me to keep fighting.

Thanks to my best friend, Dusten, for being the one that has to listen to me talk about myself...all the time...You are the only one that I can ramble off to at 4 in the morning. You have been so amazing and encouraging and helpful. You never judge, even when things get tough and all I want to do is quit. You keep me focused. Your friendship means more to me that you will ever know.

Thanks to Amberlie Holley for always having the most amazing timing. She probably doesn't know this, but she has an uncanny ability to know when I am struggling and need a push of encouragement. I always get a phone call or text message at just that right moment when I am feeling down, or overwhelmed, or just plain done. Thanks for your interventions.

Thanks to my hallmates and true friends, Morgan and Christina. I can't tell you how blessed I am to have two amazing people, living right across the hall from me, helping me survive my life. I am forever grateful to have you both right there, whenever I need you. Your friendship is so important to me. I can't wait to share our bottle of champagne.  

Thanks to those who have come to me for advice on their own personal weight loss journeys. I never in a million years, thought I would be a weight loss mentor. It is humbling to say the least.

Ok, I think I have successfully made up for you not hearing from me for  4 months. Just know that I am forever grateful to have this opportunity to share my story. It has been amazing to know that I have the strength, not only to succeed in this journey, but to tell the world about it.

Here's to the next 12 months....I can't wait to see what they have in store for me!


Here is a recap of the last year...