1 Year BAND-iversary

Today's weight, 255.2 lbs, that's...you guessed it...100 lbs so far!!!

Disclaimer...School is hard.

So I know a lot of you were probably thinking that I gave up on this whole blog thing. I have been getting a lot of crap from people because I haven't put anything out here since...(shame) August. All I can say, is that I have been a busy girl with 2 jobs, school, service hours, working out and occasionally sleeping and seeing some of my friends. I also survived my first relationship in, I don't even know how long. (That's another story, for another time). And let me tell you, break-ups....are also hard. I feel like with everything I have been going through since the semester started, which was about the same time I wrote my last blog, that I have done amazingly well for myself. When I last blogged I was sitting at 87 lbs down. So in the past 4 months I have managed to lose 13 lbs while still maintaining this busy lifestyle. I am pretty proud of that. In the past, when life got hard, I turned to food. When I felt like I was losing control, I turned to food. Not anymore!

Oh, yeah....And today is my 1 year anniversary!!!!

1 year ago today, I was sitting in the waiting room at Altaview Hospital with my dad, being prepped for what was to become the most significant event in my entire life. I remembered just how calm I felt about the whole thing....I was ready, I had been through all the steps, 6 months of doctors visits, strict meal plans, psych eval, insurance questions, more insurance questions, paperwork, more paperwork...I successfully completed my 2 week pre-op diet and had actually lost 13 lbs! I have only been counting my weight loss since my surgery date, but in reality my highest starting weight came 2 weeks before my surgery  when I weighed in at 362 lbs. But on the day of my surgery, I was 355.5 lbs, so that is what I have based my weight loss off of. My dad and I sat in the pre-op room just chatting like it was any other day. I got my IV placed and they gave me a heparin shot.  As we waited  I reflected back on all the years of struggle and was content in the fact that I was going to wake up a new person ready to shed my old skin and begin a new journey that would ultimately save my life. I knew it was going to be hard, I knew it was going to be long, and I knew that it wasn't always going to be a straight shot down the mountain. (Truth be told, it has been a mother fucking ninja roller coaster bitch of a ride) But with all of that, I was perfectly ready for what lay ahead of me....

...Until the pre-op nurse came in and told me that my doctor was delayed and it was going to be a least 2 hours before they would bet me back in there.  That's when the nervousness set in. Nervous and anxious, it was starting to get to me. My dad, I think, was starting to get annoyed. I started a group text with my mom and sister who were not able to be there, but would be coming to see me later. I talked the nurse into getting an order from my doctor to give me something for my anxiety and he came back with some ativan. Um yes sir! Now things were peachy and I was goofily chatting with my mom and sister. My mom was getting annoyed with my sister and I because we were calling each other "fat" names and telling each other "fat jokes". It's always been a thing with us to use insulting humor on each other. My sister is my best friend and the person I am closest with, so it has always just been a joke. Ever since we got our surgeries, we have used "fat" jokes on each other. I think it has been a way of flipping our old lives the bird. I'm pretty sure it started that day, with her trying to get my mind off things, and we do it still to this day. My mom was getting annoyed like she always does, because she just doesn't understand us. I was feeling great in my post-anti-anxiety-med-haze.

Then one-by-one, the operating room staff came in to say their final words to me and it was off to the races.

The surgery went well, but post-op was a bitch. I had a full blown asthma attack and was hypotensive (low blood pressure), they had to give me an albuterol treatment and fluid for my blood pressure. I was in post-op for a while until they could stabilize me. All I could remember is the feeling that I couldn't breathe, was hot and dizzy, and had the most excruciating pain in my shoulders. (It was from all the CO2 they pump into your abdomen during laproscopic surgery to get all the other organs out of the way). In fact, the most intense and only real, problematic pain, during my entire recovery, was that CO2 pain. Other than that, I was actually doing quite well. It took about 2 days for that pain to completely dissipate, but I never had much surgical pain.

My mom showed up at the hospital as well as my sister, and my dad left. It took me a while to recover, because I was dizzy and couldn't keep my oxygen levels up. Once I was finally able to get out of bed and try walking, I puked. So 3 hours in post-op and I was finally able to go home. It had been a long day. My sister and mom stayed the night with me at my house and took good care of me. I remembered thinking how lucky I was to have such amazing family that would drop everything to be there for me. It's hard when you are a single woman, living alone to have to rely on others for help. But my family are some of the most amazing people in the world and I am so grateful to have them.

the next day my mom took me to her house and I spent the next week recovering there with her and my dad. It was nice to be able to take the time off work to get adjusted to my new life. I will never forget the day I walked into my manager, Amy Back's office and told her that I needed to take a leave of absence. I wasn't telling anyone yet what I was doing, (with the exception of a select few) so it was hard to tell her that I needed to take some time off, right during the holidays, and that she couldn't know what it was for. All she knew was that while it was not life threatening, it was essential to my life and health. She was so wonderful to give me the time off I needed and didn't question it.

Over the next 12 months I would have many amazing successes, some set backs and failures, some jump-for-joy moments, some tears, many goals reached, and many wardrobe changes. I have gone from a size 28 to a size 18. I have been thinking about the goal I set for myself originally.... (to recap)

Weight related goals:

Lose 10% (weight 320 lbs) DONE
Lose 50 lbs (weight 305 lbs) DONE
Get under 300 lbs DONE
Lose 66 lbs (The most weight I have ever lost at one time was 65 lbs) (weight 289 lbs) DONE
Get to 265 lbs (That's what I weighed in high school) DONE
Lose half my total expected weight loss (lose 93 lbs - weight 262 lbs) DONE
Lose 25% (weight 266 lbs) DONE
Lose 100 lbs (weight 255 lbs) DONE
Get under 200 lbs
Lose 50% (weight 178 lbs)
Reach my goal weight (weight 169 lbs)

Non weight related goals:

Shop in a normal size clothing store DONE
Ride an airplane without having to use the seat belt extender DONE
Hike Fannonhorn (The hill next to Camp Pinecliff where Camp Fellowship hikes every year) WOULD HAVE DONE, BUT IT GOT RAINED OUT
Run a 5k

Yep, I have done a lot in the last 12 months. I need to start coming up with a new set of goals. It's time to start the next chapter of this journey. I can't thank all of you enough for everything you have done for me in this past year. Everyone has played a small role in helping me to get where I am. I couldn't have the motivation for success without each and every one of your cheer-leading, positive vibes, role modeling, and gentle reminders.

There are a few people I want to thank by name, but this in no way means that I am not grateful to every single one of you.

Thanks first and foremost to my skinny sissy pants, Em. You have been instrumental in this for me. Thanks for sharing in this amazing journey right along side of me. You get me like no one else does. It's amazing to have someone going through the exact same thing at the same time. I love you, you are beautiful!

Thanks mom and dad, for teaching me to be a strong independent woman and what the value of hard work is. I needed that for success. Thanks for always encouraging me to keep fighting.

Thanks to my best friend, Dusten, for being the one that has to listen to me talk about myself...all the time...You are the only one that I can ramble off to at 4 in the morning. You have been so amazing and encouraging and helpful. You never judge, even when things get tough and all I want to do is quit. You keep me focused. Your friendship means more to me that you will ever know.

Thanks to Amberlie Holley for always having the most amazing timing. She probably doesn't know this, but she has an uncanny ability to know when I am struggling and need a push of encouragement. I always get a phone call or text message at just that right moment when I am feeling down, or overwhelmed, or just plain done. Thanks for your interventions.

Thanks to my hallmates and true friends, Morgan and Christina. I can't tell you how blessed I am to have two amazing people, living right across the hall from me, helping me survive my life. I am forever grateful to have you both right there, whenever I need you. Your friendship is so important to me. I can't wait to share our bottle of champagne.  

Thanks to those who have come to me for advice on their own personal weight loss journeys. I never in a million years, thought I would be a weight loss mentor. It is humbling to say the least.

Ok, I think I have successfully made up for you not hearing from me for  4 months. Just know that I am forever grateful to have this opportunity to share my story. It has been amazing to know that I have the strength, not only to succeed in this journey, but to tell the world about it.

Here's to the next 12 months....I can't wait to see what they have in store for me!


Here is a recap of the last year...

Bikini Body? Probably Not. Happy body? You bet!

Todays Weight: 268.4. That's 87 lbs. So the last few months have been getting increasingly harder to shed those pounds. It's getting to the point that I can't just rely on my diet and mild physical activity. It's time to get serious about fitness. You know I have been talking a lot about hiking. I am so excited I have found this wonderful outdoor activity that I love to do, but I know with my crazy life, its not always possible to get out to do it. I'm still going to commit myself to getting out there as much as I can. I even bought myself some kick ass hiking shoes!

But I know I need something feasible to get me through most days when I just cant get out there. Thanks to my good friend Bylly, for introducing me to the "Bikini Body Mommy 90 day challenge". Now I know I'm not a mommy, and I also know I'm not going to be "bikini body ready" in 90 days, but I just did day 1 of the workout and holy hell, it is intense and I feel really good after completing it. So for those of you who don't know what the BBMC is, check out her facebook page/youtube. She is starting a new challenge in a couple of weeks, but I decided I would jump on her old youtube videos and start with the old challenge while I wait. It is less than 20 minutes each day of high intensity training and day 1 was only 8 minutes and I'm dying, but loving it.

 I am excited to try this out and see where it takes me. Like I said, I'm still planning on hiking, biking, and hitting the weight room at my condo as much as I can, but at least now I know I can have something on hand for when I just cant get out there. I would love it if there where others out there that want to do it with me? (I know Bylly will be)

On a completely side note, I am in need of some new recipes. I get to the point where the same things all the time just aren't cutting it. I love to see what others out there are coming up with for good, healthy meal options. Mind you, I dont eat any red meat (including pork) and some chicken, if it is too dry is hard too. I also cant eat most breads, sticky rice, or super cheesy things. But if you have any great meal ideas for me, I would love you to share some of your recipes. You can post them to my facebook, email me at sachki80@gmail.com or text them to me. Thanks everyone!

bringing it home.....

8 months, 270 lbs, that's 85 lbs so far. Ok so I have been getting a lot of crap from people because I haven't posted since April. Life just gets in the way sometimes, ya know? I have been so busy over the past 4 months. I decided to go back to school, to get my bachelors degree in nursing. That has really taken up a lot of my spare time. It has also made it significantly harder to stay up with being active. I know I should never make excuses for not exercising, but once I started with classes, that was my life. I still feel like I have made some good progress though. I have lost 16 lbs since I last blogged in April. And this includes the 10 lbs I gained while I was in Peru, and then had to lose again. So technically you could say I lost 26 lbs. Oh yeah, I went to Peru!

So Peru was pretty much amazing. I went on a humanitarian mission with the Hope Alliance to distribute glasses to the people of northern Peru. It was the most rewarding experience. I had so much fun. I got to meet some really cool people and share some wonderful experiences. I saw lots of cool places and tried lots of yummy food. Yeah....the food....Ok so this is the deal. Because I was traveling internationally, and specifically to a place that is less developed than the US, I had to have all the saline taken out of my band before I went. (For those of you who are confused, my band is connected to a small port implanted under my abdominal wall that can be accessed with a needle. I can have saline injected into the band to make it tighter or looser depending on how I'm doing. Well even though the band will cause restriction on its own, the saline helps constrict it even more, giving me that "full" feeling) It's a precaution because if I were to have have any trouble with my band, say, something got stuck, there would be trouble finding a medical professional who would know how to access my port and treat me. Therefore, I had all the saline removed. Now, my appetite was still much less than it ever was before the band, but I had no trouble eating anything and I could eat more than I was used to when the band was full of saline. Hence the gaining 10 lbs while I was there. The food was really good, most of the time. Its funny because I even got really sick while I was there and lost of lot fluid but even with being sick, I still managed to gain weight, which proves that it is much easier to put on weight that it is to take if off.

Since coming back from Peru, I have lost all the weight I put on (I was actually down to an 84 lb weight loss on July 5th, which was the day I left for Peru)and a big contributor to that was that when I got back, I started having the saline put back into my band. You cant replace it all at once, because the opening would just close off completely and I wouldnt be able to swallow anything at all, including liquids. So we put it back in a little at a time, faster than it was put in originally. I had a total of 7mls in there before I left. I got 3 mls put back in when I got home, and another 3mls will be put in tomorrow, so we can go faster this time, but it will still take some time to get back to where I was.

Another big contributor to my success has also been Camp Fellowship. Most of you know I am a part of this wonderful camp where I am one of the counselor directors. We run a summer Christian camp every July. Camp has always been a special place for me. It helps to remind myself who I am and what I want out of life. It renews my spirit and drive and puts me back together when I feel broken. Bring it home. This place has been a part of my life for 24 years now, and I couldn't imagine my life without it. When I got up there it was this instant refresh. I felt this instant pull to get my life back in order. I felt slightly broken from all the craziness the summer brought. Trying to do an entire semester of school in 5 weeks, while also traveling to a foreign country. All while having to worry about my health and weight loss. It has been an overwhelming summer, to say the least. But as soon as I got to camp, I knew I was home, and I knew what I needed to do. (It may sound crazy to those of you who have never had the joy of experiencing camp. It is indescribable, almost, to anyone who has never been there, but trust me, this place is magical.)I found a new drive to get back to where I was, and I had the love an support of so many people who have always just loved me unconditionally, and were there to help push me back to where I needed to be. I have known this girl, Emily, since we were 10 years old. We started out at this camp together as scared little campers, and now 24 years later we are still running things together. We have always been friends, but there have been times where we haven't been super close. Not because of anything we did, but just because life takes you way from the people you love sometimes. Emily and I came together at camp this year and I feel like for the first time in a long time, we are closer to each other than we have ever been. We shared some pretty intense and real moments during that week at camp and found a common bond that is driving us. I love this woman so much and I am so happy she is in my life. She is helping to push me so hard right now. I hope I can be the same strength for her that she needs.

Also, I have found a huge passion for hiking. Another thing that Emily has encouraged me to do. I am always looking for hiking partners, so if anyone is interested, hit me up. I am going to need that push again when school starts back up. Anyway, as you can see, a lot has happened since we last talked. I have fallen a few times and had to find the strength to get back up, but I am stronger than ever these days, and nothing is going to stop me now. I had a goal originally set out to lose 100 lbs by the time I left for Peru. Sometimes we set goal that just aren't attainable. That's ok. The point is that I am making goals and I am working hard towards them always. I didn't make that goal, but I have a new goal, that I think it is more realistic. I want to lose 100 lbs before I hit my 1 year mark. 1 year will be December 12th. That's 4 months from now. I have 4 months to lose 15 lbs. Let see if I can do it. But I need everyone's help. Because I have said it before, I can't do this alone. My sweet friend Steph said to me recently that every time she sees me, I look different. She said she always wants to tell me how good I look, but didn't know if it was overkill or if I didn't always want people to talk about it. I told her that I always want the encouragement. I'm not saying this because I need people to go out of their way to compliment me. I have become such a strong person over these past 8 months, I don't feel like I need that anymore to feel special, but every time I hear someone tell me that I look good, or that Im doing great, it just sends a little fire into my heart. That little spark of energy I need to keep going. Please dont ever feel bad or awkward about wanting to ask me questions or talk to me about it. I will always be open to sharing anything you want to know. Even if you just want to know what the "magic number" is as Melissa said to me once. Thank you all for continuing to support me on my journey. I am loving my life and where I am right now. A huge thanks to everyone that has continued to push me. Oh and my awesome sister Emily has lost over 90 lbs. She is my inspiration always. Love you sissy!

1 Watermellon + 1 Gallon of milk + 5 bags of sugar + a 19 inch flat screen tv

Day 125, 285.8 lbs, that's 69.2 lbs so far. I am sorry I haven't blogged in a while. When I first decided to blog about my journey, I promised myself that I would stay up to date with my blogging, even if the stuff that was going on wasn't positive. Well as you can see, I haven't blogged in exactly 3 weeks. That's because I haven't lost anything in 3 weeks. It has been a rough 3 weeks and I would like to say that it is 100% related to hitting a plateau, but while that might be partially true, I also haven't been making the best decisions with my diet. The thing with this Lap-Band is, yes my somach capacity is reduced and it acts like an appetite suppressant, but I still have to make healthy eating choices and if I'm eating crap, I am still not going to lose weight. Now it's not like I have gone off the deep end and just been eating whatever the hell I feel like, but I haven't been making all the right choices. snacking and drinking the froo-froo coffees. Popcorn. Wonderful, amazing, life-altering, popcorn. So I decided this week was "Kick my butt back into gear week". I started to change up my work-out routine, I am only drinking plain coffee with splenda and skim milk, and I have layed off the popcorn. (although I will tell you this right now, I will never give up popcorn completely because I love it too much and I truly believe that when you deprive yourself of every joy in your life you will begin to resent it. I dont' ever want to hate my journey.) With that being said, everything in moderation. Anyway, so I have been kicking butt this week and I am proud to say I have jumped over the hump. I have also met my next goal: Lose 66 lbs (The most weight I have every lost during any attemp to lose weight) Go me! I am still so happy with my decision to take this step and go on this journey and I believe that I can accomplish this. I have added a new goal to my list. This is a big one, and I am going to have to work really hard to accomplish it. It's the first one I have set that has the potential to not get met, but I am going to try my hardest to accomplish it. I want to lose at total of 100 lbs by July 5th. This is the day I leave for Peru. That means I will need to lose 30 more lbs in a little less than 3 months. Which would be a 100 lb weight loss in exactly 7 months. I know its a big one, but I am really going to try to make it happen. I need evryone's support and encouragement though. I am going to Peru on a humanitatian mission with the Hope Alliance. I am so excited but we are going to be doing a lot of standing, walking and even hiking and how great would it be to be able to do all of those things 100 lbs lighter? So, please help keep me in check. Thank you to everyone that has been there for me during this and encouraged me and loved me. Thank you for all the kind words and praise. Thank you for sticking by me and pushing me every day. I couldn't do this without you. And just to clarify, my weight loss is roughly that of 1 watermelon + 1 gallon of milk + 5 bags of sugar + a 19 inch flat screen tv. Can you even imagine carrying that much extra weight around on you every day?

Dress up time

Day 104, 292.8 lbs, that's 63 lbs so far

I had this really amazing, "ah ha" moment today.  I just got back from a weekend in St. George with the family.  It was so nice and warm down there so I decided to pack clothes for warmer weather.  However, all my clothes are too big right now, which is like, "boo hoo", I know, but do you realize how hard its going to be to have to continually buy new clothes every time I drop a few sizes?  But it has gotten to the point were I cant "fudge" wearing a lot of the clothes I own, because they are just too big.  It was really apparent down in St. George because I pulled out some clothes that I haven't worn since last season and even they were too big.

Anyway, so I had the day off today and after getting my hair done (which, by the way, I'm loving) and visiting the doctor's to find out I was 2 lbs lighter after a weekend vacation, I decided to hit the mall and find some spring/summer clothes.

So I get to my favorite store, Torrid, at the Fashion Place mall, and I start looking around.  I pick out a couple of cute summer dresses and since I would normally walk in and go right for the size 4 or 5, (they do these weird sizes there to make you not feel so bad about yourself.  A 5 would be a size 28 and a 4 would be a size 26.), I decided to pick up all the dresses in size 3.  I got to the dressing room and started to put the first dress on.  As I was putting on the dress, the sales associate came by and asked if I was doing ok.  I was standing there in awe as the size 3 dress I just put on, was way too big.  I said to him, "Um, I think I need a smaller size."  That was the first time in 10 years I have ever said that while trying on clothes.  He exchanged the dresses I grabbed for size 2s (size 22) and I put the first one on.  It fit me perfectly.  Right there, staring at myself in the mirror, I started to cry. I was so overcome with emotion. I was really wearing a size I haven't worn in 10 years. The sales associate came by again and asked how the 2s were working out for me and I opened the door with tears in my eyes and just stared at him.  I'm sure, in that moment he thought I was crazy, but then I just blurted out to him that I never thought I would ever be a 22 again and I have lost 63 lbs and I am so excited.  He just hugged me and told me way to go.  I was so proud of myself in that moment.  Then he was like, "I'll be right back."  A few moments later he is throwing dresses over the door that he found that he thinks I will look great in.  I was just laughing.  He was so cute and excited for me too.  He made me come out and model every dress I tried on. I even found a dress in a size 20 that fit me. It was the best shopping experience of my life.  In that moment, I saw in myself, what everyone has been telling me they could see in me. 

I ended up buying way too much stuff.  And I know that I am just going to grow out of all of it and have to go get more stuff, but that moment felt so good, I wanted to have that motivation every time I put on clothes and looked in the mirror.  I want that daily reminder that I can do this.

I snapped photos of some of the stuff I bought while I was in the dressing room.  It was too good of a photo op to pass up.  

Good Riddance

Day 84, 299 lbs (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT) That's 56 lbs so far

Good-bye 300s. I have never been so glad to see the number 2 in my life. I have now blasted through weight goals #3 Lose 50 lbs and #4 Get under 300 lbs. The funny things is, I actually got to goal #4 on day 77, but then I hit a small snag in the road.

So last Monday I was working at the hospital. I had not been feeling great that day. Didn't sleep well before my shift, had heart burn all day and some lower back pain.  As I was getting ready for work, I noticed that I had some mild pain in my left chest/lung when I would take deep breaths.  Now I kind of blew it off thinking I just needed to pass gas, but as I was driving into work I also developed a mild cough and started thinking I was getting pneumonia.  The pain with breathing was increasing and there have been a few people in the RTU who were diagnosed with pneumonia.  I was talking to Dusten on the way to work and I was telling him how I felt. I told him, "If Stacey got me sick, I'm going to kill her."

When I got to work, I still felt the pain but I didn't have time to think about it, because we were busy.  As the night progressed though, the pain was getting worse. I couldn't take a deep breath without feeling this crushing feeling in my chest and everyone at work was starting to get worried.  I had Stacey and Dr. Polhill listen to me.  I wasn't wheezing and I wasn't decreased but now the pain was so bad that I was avoiding taking deep breaths at all. The shallow breathing was making me lightheaded.  Dr. Polhill suggested that I talk to the adult emergency medicine resident that was working in the ED that night. We went over to talk to her and tell her my symptoms.  She and Dr. Bolte were listening to me and after telling them of my recent lap-band surgery, they began to get worried that I was having a PE (pulmonary embolism) essentially a blood clot in the lungs, developed from having surgery.  My symptoms seemed to fit. I wasn't so sure, since it had been over 2 months since my surgery, but no one wanted to take the chance. They decided I needed to be checked in and treated. God help me.

Nurse Steve started hooking me up to monitors and threw me oxygen. So not how I had planned my night going.  They decided to put an IV in me and get an EKG before having me go to an adult hospital. They wanted to wheel me over to the U of U hospital but I asked to go to an IHC hospital for insurance purposes. Dr. Bolte told me he was going to have me ambulanced to LDS Hospital.  Like hell you are.  I'm not paying a $700 ambulance bill to go 5 minutes away. Meanwhile, Stacey, who was charging that night decided to call Dusten to come pick me up and take me to LDS. The RTU scrambled to take over my patients so I could be treated.  They are amazing wonderful people. Nurse Melissa placed and IV and Tech Lacey got an EKG. It showed an inverted T wave which, is non-specific, but could be a sign of PE. Great. I became the evening show in the ED. Everyone kept coming by and looking through the window at the RTU nurse that had to be admitted.  Seriously though, everyone was so wonderful and helpful and comforting.  I couldn't ask for a better group of people to work with, and I know for a fact, if I ever need medical care again, I would take a PCH ED RN over anyone.  They are amazing at what they do.

Dusten arrived and we left for LDS.  Ok, I have always believed that I am the luckiest girl alive to have Dusten as my BFF, but nothing solidified that fact more, than when he drops everything to come up to the hospital.  He is so wonderful and I am so grateful to have him in my life.

We get checked in at LDS. Melissa called ahead and gave report, so they were expecting me and knew what was going on.  it is now 1 am and they proceeded, over the next 4 hours, to perform every test know to man, to rule out PE.  Blood tests, chest x-ray and a freaking CT scan with contrast. (Yeah, I have totally met my deductible for the year, in February) The Doctor there was amazing and so comforting and kind.  The nurse, seemed like she was a few crayons short of a full pack. Then came the Dilaudid. Oh yeah. Insert drunk face here. That stuff made me happy. It seriously dulled the pain. Dusten was just laughing at me when it would hit my system and I would stop mid sentence and just smile.

Everything before the CT scan came back normal, then the CT results came back. The doctor came in and said there was no evidence of PE, but did I know I had gallstones?  Hehe, what? had no idea. Dusten starts laughing. He made a smart ass comment on the way to the hospital that, "I bet it's your gallbladder." At least I thought he was being a smart ass.  Come to find out, that's really what he thought. Go Dusten, you diagnosed me! They of course had to get an ultrasound to confirm, but yep, gallstones and I guess bad enough that it was recommended I get it taken out asap. We were discharged around 5 am and Dusten took me to get meds and then home. Again, why am I so lucky to have him as my best friend?

The next day I made an appointment to see my surgeon.  The same one that did my lap-band. Geez, why didnt he just take it out while he was in there the first time.  He was, however, amazing enough to fit me into the schedule the very next day so less than 48 hours after being diagnosed, I was having my gallbladder out.

My sister, who is also the most amazing person ever, took me to my doctors appointment, stayed the night with me, took me to my surgery and stayed with me until my mom got home from work to take care of me. She took such good care of me and I am so grateful she was there for me.  Again, how did I get so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life.

The surgery went very smoothy, and I am feeling really good today.  I am returning to work tomorrow night, so wish me luck.

As I was saying earlier, on the morning of my surgery, I weighed myself and I was 299 lbs. Yeah, but then I had surgery and with it, tons of swelling, and water retention, so it took me a week, but I am back where I was, and I am so excited because I got to say good-bye and good riddance to not only my gallbladder, this week, but also 56 lbs of a life I used to live. A life I will never see again!

Spring cleaning

I had to add a little something positive along with my last post. Today marks the 2 month mark since my surgery.  I can't believe I have made it this far.  I have really been noticing how a lot of my clothing, especially my jeans have been starting to get too big to wear. can we say yay? So I decided I needed to go through my closet and get rid of stuff I can no longer wear. 

I have had this crazy obsession with saving jeans.  Even when I have gotten too big for them over the years I would hide them away in my closet because I always said, "If I ever lose weight, I don't want to have to buy more jeans."  I have always been made fun of by my mom and sister and certain friends because they just take up so much space.  Well who is laughing now?

I broke in to all my jeans and discovered that (minus the 5 pairs I threw aways because they had irreparable damage to them) I have 35 pairs of jeans in my closet. 6 different sizes.  The best part about it....I am getting rid of 2 sizes because they are too big.  That's right, I have dropped 2 pant sizes! WOOHOO!

The other great thing about this is, my sister is 2 sizes smaller than me to begin with, and also shrinking, so she is giving me all her jeans that she cant wear anymore, and I am giving her the stack of jeans that I have in her size.  Jeans are so expensive anyway and they last forever, so it is nice to not have to go buy new ones every time we drop a size. I had to take a picture because it was just so comical.

It was very liberating to get rid of so many items that were no longer a part of me.  I got rid of old jeans, scrubs, even bras. Yup, my boobs are shrinking haha. I know I have a setback to deal with, but I am feeling pretty good about where I am right now. 

Bumps in the road feel more like Mount Everest.

Day 60, 308 lbs. That's 46 lbs so far. (Unfortunately I was down 47 lbs but popcorn and some other bad decisions got the better of me)

I have had some not good days lately. I was feeling so great for a while. I lost 4 lbs in 1 week! That was a great week for me, but then I made a few mistakes and it cost me.  I had my first weight gain this week and it is really getting to me.

I have a friend in town and he wanted to get Mexican food and go to a movie.  I have been out to a restaurant a few times since my surgery, but it was usually to a place like Applebees or somewhere that I could make reasonably healthy choices. Now, I know that is not going to always be the case, like when someone wants to get Mexican food.  I felt like I did a pretty good job by ordering a chicken taco and some rice.  But what got me was all the chips and salsa beforehand.  One thing I was told by my Lap-Band nurse was that the "bad-for-you foods" the things like chips and popcorn, are the ones that will "slip" down easily.  How not fair is that? The stuff that is the worst for you is the easiest stuff to eat.  The healthy stuff like celery and asparagus can sometimes be the most difficult.  So for those of you out there that think that getting Lap-Band surgery will just magically make the pounds disappear, you are WRONG! It is really hard work and I have to consciously make the right decisions every time I put something in my mouth. Now I know that I cant expect people to make sacrifices all the time for me. We cant always go to Applebees. Plus I wanted to try some Mexican food.  I want to still be able to eat some of the things I love.  But I need to make the best decisions I can, wherever I'm eating.  The chicken taco and rice was an ok choice. The chips and salsa was not. 

Then we decided to go to a movie and I was craving popcorn. But I cant just have popcorn.  It has to have lots of yummy butter on it.  What's the point of popcorn without the butter.  I mean, the popcorn is merely a vessel for getting the butter into your mouth. Isn't it? Anyway, I got popcorn and I ate a lot of it. Because it is another one of those things that "slip" down easily. And because popcorn is mostly just air anyway, I can fit a lot of it in my body. Not a good thing. Boy did I feel sick later though. Too bad it didn't make me feel sick right away because I would have stopped. No, it had to make me feel like shit after I ate half the tub. My body has gotten so used to having the healthy stuff and not the greasy salty stuff so it got kind of mad at me. I really messed up and it showed on the scale.

This has really been bothering me for the past few days.  I have really started to beat myself up over it. I know that one pound doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but to me, it is everything. I have been so good and have been working so hard to get to where I am so far, and one little lapse in judgment and I put that weight right back on.  Now I know its only 1 lb but its the first gain I've had since my surgery and it makes me feel like I've failed. I am really trying to stay positive and I keep telling myself that these little "bumps in the road" will happen.  This "bump" is like Mount Everest in my mind and I have the uphill climb of my life to overcome what has happened and get back on track. You see, in my past, every time I hit one of those "bumps," I have let it ruin everything I had worked for.  I get this whole "well, since I already messed up, I might as well give up," mentality.  When I met with the weight loss psychologist for the first time, I told her that was one of my biggest weaknesses. She told me I wasn't alone and that is the number one biggest reason why people fail when they diet.  Giving up is a lot easier that trying again.  She also told me that she saw me as a very motivated and determined person.  When I go for something, I get it. I don't fail.  She could see that in me and she told me that I need to see that in myself.  She told me that when I face a setback like that, I need to find my anchor. That one thing that holds me accountable for my actions. That one thing that will help me defeat my demons. I dont think I have one specific anchor, but the list of things I want to achieve due to my weight loss. I want to shop in a normal clothing store. I want to ride an airplane without using the seatbelt extender. I want to ride on all the rides at Lagoon.  I want to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of what is staring back at me.  And most of all, I want to find that one person that wants to be with me for the rest of my life.  Those are the things I am holding on to. Those are the things that motivate me, that encourage me, that push me and pull me and guide me up that mountain. That's why I'm doing this. 

One f*ing pound is not going to stop me.  I will overcome this. I see the top of that mountain and I am going to crush it.

I do not blame anyone but myself, so for my friends that want to go get Mexican food or eat popcorn at the movies, it is not your fault, nor is it your responsibility to make sure I make the right decisions.  I will always welcome words of motivation, kind reminders, and cheerleaders, but I don't expect any of you to feel obligated to monitor or babysit me and if you want to get some Mexican food, I would love to join you.  We'll just keep the chips and salsa on your side of the table. :)

Devine Secrets of the Yiayia Sisterhood

Day 45, 312 lbs. That's 43 lbs so far.

By now most of you know this, but in case you didn't, my sister, Emily, has been on this Journey to get thin with me.  In fact, she also had the Lap-Band surgery done. (She gave me permission to tell people). It's kind of a funny story because we didn't actually decide to do this together.

My Grandmother had this surgery done 4 years ago which is what originally inspired me to go this direction in the first place. I have known about it for years and I even looked into it a few times but it wasn't until my Grandmother did it that I really began to consider it. I knew I couldn't afford to have the surgery done on my own and so I needed to go through insurance. (My insurance is kind of amazing so they actually covered most of the costs) I had to do a bunch of things before insurance would approve me, so when I talked to my mom about my plan, I asked her not to tell anyone until I could get my approval because there was no sense in telling people I was going to do it, if I really couldn't.  I remember talking to my sister about it a year or so ago.  I just kind of put it out there that I was looking into it after seeing the success that my Grandmother had.  She didn't know how serious I was about it all though.

Now Em and I have always been very close and we share a lot of things with each other, but this felt very personal to me back then and I was still very self conscious about the whole thing and, again, didnt want to say I was going to do something that might not actually happen.  So I set off to tackle the list of tasks my insurance set out for me.

Little did I know, Em was considering it too.  Again, she didn't want to say anything until she knew for sure that she could do it, so she told my mom about it, but asked her not to say anything until she had it all worked out.

My poor Mom.  She had this huge secret from both of us.  She knew that we could be each others biggest support system but she was being loyal to our wishes and didn't say a word.  She told us, later on, that it was complete torture.

As I was getting closer to completing my tasks I would talk to my Mom about my progress and she would make comments like, "Are you sure you don't want to say anything to Em about it?" "She would be so happy and supportive to you." Apparently she had been saying the same things to Em. 

When I finally got my approval and I was just waiting to get into the doctor to make arrangements, I decided to call my sister.  I remember the conversation so vividly.  I called her up and said, "Do you remember how I talked to you last year about wanting to look into Lap-Band surgery?" Well I didn't tell you this, but I have been working with my insurance to get approved to do the surgery and the approval just came down today." I am going to make arrangements to get the surgery done before the end of the year."  There was silence on the other end.  Then, "Oh my God, Sarah, that's so wonderful. I'm so excited for you."  She was so happy for me and just kept saying how excited she was.  She was so great to let me have my moment to shine.  Then, after a time she said, "I've have something crazy to tell you. I have decided to get the Lap-Band surgery done as well and I am meeting with my doctor this week to make arrangements." I was in complete shock. I was so excited for her and I was so excited for us.  How crazy was it that we both decided, independently, to make this life-changing decision?  The same decision that was going to save both of our lives.  But then again, we are sisters, and most people think we are twins, so why wouldn't we come up with this crazy idea together.

The best part was when we told Mom that we told each other.  She got so excited she screamed and told us how hard it has been to keep our secrets. She was so proud of the both of us.

I just have to say, that it has been so amazing to go through this experience with Em.  You have no idea what it means to have someone who knows exactly what you are going through, right there beside you to help you.  We have been invaluable to each other.  Losing weight is a burden many people have to face, but not many have had the unique experiences that Em and I have had. The best part is that she did her surgery about 4 weeks before me, so all the experiences I have had, she has usually already had them, so she has been very helpful to me.  I love our daily check-ins with each other. I love being about to call her up at any time, day or night and just talk.  She does the same with me.  We share each others triumphs and listen to each others struggles.  We can talk each other off the ledge, when we have moments of weakness, and boost each others confidence when we think its too hard to keep going.  Each pound lost is a celebration for both of us. 

We decided from the beginning to never let this be a competition.  We are different people.  Both of us have faced plateaus and setbacks, but we never let the others success make us feel defeated. We are in this together, 100%.

I am so proud of my baby sister.  She is doing an amazing job so far!  She has lost 50 lbs as of today!  She works so hard every day on her own personal journey.  She has been a true inspiration to me and has helped me more than you will ever know.  The future looks bright for the King sisters!  Emmy, I love you and I cant wait to see us this time next year!  We are going to rock this! 

Thanksgiving Day                                    Christmas Day

Fill-er up!

Day 41, 314 lbs. That's 41 lbs so far. (Averaged out to 1 lb per day)

So Friday was the 5 week mark, post-surgery.  It was also the day of my first "adjustment." I was told by my Lap-Band nurse that during my 5th week post-op, when most of the post-operative swelling is gone, I will start to feel hungry.  Boy was she right. It was weird because up until then, I was NEVER hungry. I actually had to remind myself to eat because I never felt like I needed to.  But that last week was hard because not only was I feeling actual hunger pains, but I felt like I could eat more than 1/2 cup at each meal, and I started to get hungrier, faster. It was a weird feeling and some of my old feelings about food started to resurface. I started to fix myself "heaping" 1/2 cup-fulls of food, and I found myself taking extra bites of things while I was preparing my meals. I didn't like it. I was calling my sister a lot more for support and I was starting to worry myself.  I knew I just needed to make it to Friday when I could get my first "fill."

At my Dr.'s appointment my Lap-Band nurse asked me a lot of questions about my eating habits and feelings.  I told her about the cravings and hunger pains and about how I was eating more than I should.  She told me that it sounded like I needed a "good fill." She told me that was normal and that these fills are designed to help fix those cravings and hunger pains. 

She had me lie on the table and she prepared my belly for the injection.  Now to remind you what I am talking about, in case you don't know, I have an access port implanted on the inner wall of my abdomen, that allows access with a needle to inject or withdraw saline from the band.  This allows my band to be tightened or loosened depending on the amount of food I am able to consume. Since I was eating more than I should my nurse decided to inject 1.5 ml of saline into my band making it tighter. First she cleans the skin with betadine, then she injects a local anesthetic in the area she will be accessing to numb the area. I could hardly feel the local.  Then with a long access needle attached to a syringe filled with the saline, she pokes through the abdomen and into the port. Here she can draw back saline to make sure she is in the right spot and inject the saline into the band.  It was painless except for a little pressure when she had to readjust.  Apparently my port is slightly tipped due, probably, to one of the stitches coming out.  She said that can happen and not to worry.  Then she had me sit up and drink some water.  They do this to make sure the amount of saline injected was not too much to not allow anything to pass.  She said you can feel it immediately if there is a problem.  None for me so that was it.  The whole process took less than 10 minutes.

For the first 6 months, or so, I will be going in to the office every 2 weeks for adjustments.  This is because there is a lot of change happening to my body at first and as I lose weight, they will need to continually assess my eating and weight loss habits.  I am grateful to have this available to me.  It makes me feel like I am support and options and that I am not doing this all on my own.  That I can keep up on everything.

I have also decided to take monthly update photos. Mostly because I want to see my progress.  Here are a few to share.  The ones on the left are from before the surgery and the ones on the right are from 1 month after.

Wow, I really regret that workout. --said no one ever

Day 34 - 315 lbs - That's a 40 lb weight loss so far!  That's right...40!

I'm so excited! 10 lbs away from Goal #2! 

So now that I am out from my surgery a few weeks and practically all my abdominal pain is gone (minus some tightness around my port), I really need to start the exercise and fitness part. I mean, I have been doing a lot of walking, climbing stairs at the condo, and riding on my stationary bike, but now its time to really step it up and make a commitment to being active.

I feel really fortunate that my condo complex has a small "gym", and by gym I mean a room with a few workout equipment machines in it.  It's not the best, but it will work. The only problem is, I have such a hard time getting my butt off the couch to go do it.  I think most people are like me though and don't really get excited about working out. I mean, there are a few crazy people out there that are all like, "Yay! I get to go to the gym today. I'm so excited!" Who are you people? Seriously. But actually the hardest part is motivating myself to go.  I actually have fun while I'm there. I also, usually feel really good when I'm done. That is, if I'm not puking or passed out next to the treadmill.

So I decided I needed some inspiration and motivation to get me off the couch and into the gym. Someone gave me the idea to start a "goal board" that has pictures and quotes that motivate me. I have decided to make a motivational fitness board.  I found some great quotes and some tips to making my workouts fun and easier to get off the couch for. Here's some of the awesome stuff I found:

Begin with simple goals that make you feel good. Start by walking or jogging at a pace that feels comfortable.
 
 
Your body knows it can do it, but sometimes it takes your brain a little longer to process the information.

Don't let anything or anyone—even yourself—stand between you and your goals.

We've all had moments of weakness during a workout or while trying to adhere to a healthy meal plan. The trick is to remember those key reasons you started in the first place.


Whether you're on a 1400-calorie diet, doing  fat-burning exercises, or working to eat more superfoods, bask in the fact that the more pounds you drop, or areas you tone, the more you're winning!



Each person has their own time and pace when it comes to working out, losing weight, or adopting healthy cooking styles. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it, though!


Fast food and many pre-packaged foods and snacks contain high levels trans fat, sugar, sodium, and carbs.

Choose whole foods such fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains and lean proteins to help lower your fat, sugar, and cholesterol intakes.
 

That craving for a bag of Doritos can be satisfied with the click of a vending machine button. But, the feeling after eating them might not be worth it.

Trade in that craving for a delicious fat-burning snack or workout session with your friend for more long-term and healthier results. 
 

You don’t have to run a sub two-hour half marathon or do a set of bicep curls in under one minute to be successful and achieve your weight-loss goals.

Do what feels comfortable and natural, and always remember: Slow and steady wins the race!
 

Sometimes, your brain can be your own worst enemy. Keep yourself mentally sharp (and thinking positive thoughts) by snacking on nuts, adopting a Mediterranean cooking style, and getting plenty of sleep.


No matter how big or small the workout, you’ll feel energized, strong and confident afterward.


Doing the same workout or eating the same meal might be convenient, but for the results you want, it’s good to spice up your regimen and try different fitness activities, like hula hooping or ballet.



 And I just have to add, that it is totally lame and ironic that when I decide I am only going to take the stairs at work instead of the elevator. They close them down for 6 months for renovations. Seriously??