.....and the journey begins.

355. Just an ordinary, not important, not scary number. Right? To most people, 355 means nothing. To most people, 355 is just a random number. Not to me. To this girl, 355 is the scariest number in the world. To this girl, 355 carries more significance than any other number in the entire world. To this girl, 355 means unhappiness, loneliness, shame and death. When I walked into Dr. Hansen's office and stepped on the scale, the number 355 broke my heart. Because this was the highest my weight had ever been. A lump caught in my throat and tears welled up in me eyes. I couldn't believe it had gotten that bad. I stood there for a moment and looked back on my entire life and thought about all the things that I had done to get me to this place. I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes and as I stepped off the scale I said to myself. "That's the last time you are ever going to see that number there again."......and the journey begins.

This is the beginning of the hardest, longest, most challenging journey I will ever face. This is the beginning of something so big, so powerful, so important, I felt it needed to be shared with the world (or at least my world). This is the beginning of the journey I will take to save my own life. I'm ready. Are you ready to take this journey with me?

For those of you that don't already know, December 12, 2013 was the most important day of my life. That was the day I took the biggest leap i have ever taken. That was the day I had Lap-Band surgery. Lap-Band is a weight loss procedure in which a small band is placed around the top part of the stomach creating a small pouch in which it limits the amount of food that can be consumed at one time. I refer to it as the ultimate appetite suppressant. It is inserted laproscopically as an outpatient procedure. It takes about 1 hour. The band has a small "port" connected to it which is implanted under the skin in your abdomen. The "port" allows access to the band so that saline can be added or removed making the band tighter or looser depending on how well it is suppressing your appetite. This is a very short synopsis of what Lap-Band is, but if you are interested in knowing more, you can visit lapband.com or ask me.

I made the decision to get the band after much research into not only the Lap-Band system, but also other forms of weight loss surgeries. I ready many articles, spoke to many doctors as well as patients who have had these various forms of surgeries. After much time, I decided that Lap-Band was the best option for me. Being the least invasive weight loss surgery and allowing you to keep your body intact, it was in my opinion the safest, most effective option.

A lot of people might be wondering why I decided to have weight loss surgery instead of trying to "diet" or do it on my own. Well, those of you who know me, know that I have already tried everything out there. In many cases I would have success in the beginning but nothing was every permanent, and every time I would gain the weight back, plus some. Those ways didn't work for me and it was time to do something extreme. I was playing with fate, and I was losing.

I have been very lucky so far as to not have many medical problems associated with being overweight. Other than some arthritis in my hips and knees, my health has been pretty good. No diabetes, no high blood pressure, no sleep apnea. But the heavier I got, the more risk I was putting myself in for developing any number of problems. So enough was enough. I had to do something, and quick. Or I was going to DIE!

I decided I wanted to create a blog about my journey, not only to share with all of you, what I am going through, but also to help me. I know this journey is going to be long, its going to be hard and at times I will want to give up, I will think I have failed and I will need the help of those who love me to get through this. The one thing that I ask from all of you, is to not give up on me, because I may want to at some point and I need you all to help me fight. I am going to conquer this. And you all will be here to witness it.

I promise to be open and honest about this whole process. What I hope from all of you is that if you ever have questions or concerns, please come to me.  I know this may sound very scary to some of you. I know some of you may not understand it and might even have negative thoughts about it. If any of you are unsure of something, just ask me.I want you all to know that this is a good thing. This is a safe thing. This is absolutely necessary.

So here goes....wish me luck....and stay tuned!